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Blog Post

Self Care 101

2/18/2018

6 Comments

 
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I’m a wife, mother, servant of God, professional, daughter, sister and friend. I wear many different hats throughout the course of my day. My focus and goal is to help others and to bring joy to their lives. I make many sacrifices and uphold several commitments, all to care for others. What I often fail to do is care for me.

Self care is a necessary and vital part of our emotional and mental wellbeing. It’s not something that just happens, but it is an intentional act of your will. It’s not an activity you’ll find yourself doing naturally, rather, it’s something that you must make a priority, be deliberate about, and participate in on purpose. You must make time to practice self care, and to be present with yourself and live in the moment.

We’ve all been there where we ended up getting an afternoon nap, not because we planned it really , but because we were so tired that we couldn’t do anything else but rest... it’s not that dinner date with you friend that me that you got caught up in because they were pressuring you to come. No these events are not considered self care because in truth, when you really think about it, is not what you really wanted to do.

Self care is defined as: any necessary human regulatory function which is under the individuals control, it is deliberate and self-initiated. Self care is one of the best survival skills you can learn. Self-care involves participating in activities you love, on a regular basis. Practicing self can can only reduce stress and help you maintain and enhance your health and well-being. So what’s stopping you and getting in the way of you, taking care of you? If it’s because you just don’t know how - let me help you:

The following are some important basic self-care strategies that can keep you functioning at your best, and ready to handle life, when the challenges come.

    1.    Get Enough Sleep
    2.    Maintain Proper Nutrition
    3.    Exercise Regularly
    4.    Meditate and/or practice yoga
    5.    Maintain Social Interactions
    6.    Find a Hobby that you enjoy
    7.    Treat Yourself to something nice
    8.    Keep Your Mind Sharp
    9.    Stay positive and keep a healthy attitude
    10.    Make routine appointments for physical and dental exams

~ I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent; caring for myself is an act of survival.  Audre Lorde~
6 Comments

Your Self  Esteem   Matters

2/11/2018

1 Comment

 
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When you see or hear the word self esteem, what actually comes to mind. I bet you begin to think about various types of names, or concepts such as self worth, self value, self respect or self confidence. The word Self esteem is generally thought of in these different ways.

When people talk about self esteem, it’s easy to think along the lines of what is that person like. One will begin to think about their character traits, personality type, or the persons overall disposition. Your self esteem plays a big part of who your are, and what you believe to be true about yourself.

In psychology, self esteem is described as one’s overall sense of self worth and personal value. Self esteem is thought to be a measurement of how much you like and respect yourself. It’s sad to say, but not many people hold themselves to be in high regards. I think a big part of the reason this is true, is because people don’t want to believe that they are actually good enough or capable of doing something wonderful.

Far too many times we are reminded of our short comings or the things that we can not do. This self defeating belief may have come from someone in our lives telling us this, or it may have come from our own experiences, where we didn’t make the mark, or we felt like we didn't measure up to something that we actually thought we could handle. Wherever that seed of negativity was planted, and however it was planted, I am here to tell you, that belief you hold about yourself is untrue.

Having a healthy sense of who you are, and strong level of self worth and self value is very important. Believing in yourself and your values are the difference between being successful or just average. I believe we were all born with greatness inside of us. We all have something unique and special to give and share with others. That unique talent is what lies at the core of our very soul. In order to pull that out, you must believe in yourself and know that you are valued, your life has worth and meaning, and that everything you do in life is working for a greater good, which has an even greater, expected end.

So I say this to you, if you want to get to that place in your life, you can achieve it just by making some slight adjustments to your thought processing. The key is stepping out of your comfort zone and challenging yourself to share your innate talents and abilities, and to stop thinking negative about yourself. It’s time to turn that negative thought into a positive belief. Focus on building your self esteem. That is your level of self worth, self respect and the value you hold for yourself.

In order to build your self esteem, you need to be able to do a few things. Let me give you 10 valuable ways to start that process:

  1. Identify what got you thinking negative and stating self defeating things about yourself. Turn the negative into a positive.
  2. Extinguish the thoughts that makes you feel less than, or inferior towards others. Stand up for what you believe in, assert yourself and let your voice be heard.
  3. Acknowledge what is good in your life and stay focused on that. Keep working on what works, and stop giving space and energy to what doesn’t work.
  4. Affirm yourself daily. This involves saying positive self statement such as: I am good enough, I will be successful, I have made a difference, I matter etc.
  5. Set realistic, short term, measurable, and attainable goals. Don’t be afraid to work towards achieving those goals.
  6. Be a support to someone else. Give helpful, encouraging and uplifting advice. Helping others will take your mind off yourself, and it makes you feel good about yourself as well as productive. Most times when we help others, we strengthen ourself because we tend to help others do better in our own area of weakness.
  7. Accept when you have made an error, a poor judgement, or mistake and own it. It’s ok. Avoid making excuses for your wrong doing. Take responsibility and own your actions. This opens the door for growth and integrity.
  8. Self care rules! Make sure you are doing things you love. Treat yourself nice, and learn the importance of balancing your life between, family, work, social interactions, spirituality, health and wellness, and your personal time.
  9. Establish healthy relationships. Healthy means to be around people that make you feel good about yourself, that will challenge you to become better, that will hold you accountable at all times.
  10. Never be afraid to ask for help when you need it. We can not do it all alone!

Know that your gifts and skills makes you uniques, special and valued. They make you who you are. Your life matters, and you make a difference. Now go get what's yours! ❤️💪🏾
1 Comment

    Author

    I'm a licensed Clinical Social worker, license to work in the State of Pennsylvania.  I have over 19 years experience working in the Mental Health Field as a Child Welfare Worker, Administrator, Consultant, Educator and Clinician. I'm dedicated and committed to the work I do which includes impacting and changing lives.  In my spare time I like to write poetry, watch movies, and share my thoughts through blogging.

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