What is it that got you feeling stuck? Are you trying to get ahead, but it feels like you’re not moving?  What’s stopping you from buying that new car, or that brand new house? Why haven’t you stopped into your boss office to request that pay increase that you deserve? There are some many reasons why we fail to take the next step and grab a hold of what is intrinsically ours?  What happens when you think about reaching further?  Do you feel anxious or overwhelmed?  How about when you think about confronting that issue that got you feeling bound, do you experience similar emotions?  Many of us will remain in unhealthy relationships and stay on a job where we are not growing, because of this internal emotion called, Fear.  

Fear can be a very debilitating emotion.  It is one of the feelings that can immobilize you if you allow it to.  What produces fear, is when you don’t know what to expect, or when you don’t have a clear understanding how your life might change as a result of stepping over, onto the other side of your situation.  Fear is one of those emotions we often feel, but never discuss.  Stressful situations tend to generate fear within us.  It is the stressful event, which is also known as the “triggering event” that causes the brain to respond, sometimes, in negative manner.  The stressful event sends a signal to your brain, telling you, that what’s happening outside of you is not good.  That stress then, translates into something you’ll feel or experience.

When stress comes upon you, you may feel it throughout your body.  You might experience physiological responses such as the releasing of chemicals that can cause your heart to start racing, palms grow sweaty, Knees get jittery, head starts throbbing, the rate of your breathing increases, or your muscles are energized, just to name a few.  These physiological changes can be extremely un-easy for some, because it may take you into a very unfamiliar place, emotionally speaking.  Whatever you do, don’t avoid what you are feeling, or experiencing by shutting, instead learn effective ways to manage the stressors that are a part of your life.

So how do you deal with the negative side of this emotion, called fear? You live!  Fear happens when you refuse to live your life as it happens.  Fear lives in the very thoughts that you tell yourself.  So stop telling yourself negative things and spending all your time worrying about what’s going to happen next.  When you do this, it suggests that you are planning to living for what hasn’t even occurred yet.  As you know, with everything, there are good and bad, healthy and unhealthy ways to deal with situations that occurs in your life. Knowing what you can control vs. what you can’t control is one way to manage your fears.  You will come upon things in life that you have no control over, and there’s not much you can do about it.  But, when it’s a situation that you can control, set your mind to make a change, do something different; reach for what you ordinarily wouldn’t reach for.   If you do nothing, you will feel defeated.  That defeat will then be replaced by fear which will paralyze you and keep you achieving your goals in life.  So, why stress over the thought of, “What hasn’t happened yet?”

As I bring this to a close, I want you to ask yourself this question, “Do you want to experience living life, or avoid living life?  If you answer experience living life, then you must extinguish fear.  Don’t let the thought of what could happen, paralyzing you from the experiences of what is happening, right in the “here and now.” You’re experiences whether good or bad, are meant to develop you and build character in you. You will  experience the beauty of life, when you allow yourself to live the life you have been destined to live.  Your experiences will only be negative, if you accept it as such.  Even when things don’t turn out the way you hoped they would, you can always walk away from that experience with new information and a different understanding on life.

So, I leave you with this, you can plan for tomorrow, but you can’t live tomorrow, today. So, stop planning to prevent what might happen, and start preparing to live what is happening “Here and Now.” There is no real security with living life. So instead of living to prevent, prepare to live.  Leave Fear behind. 

Having a role model, while going through life changes is one strategy that can be used to assist you with achieving your goals in life.   Having someone that you can look to, is almost like having a blue print or a roadmap of which way you should go.  Role models can serve as a vision, or focal point.  Being able to see what someone other than your self has gone through, and what they have accomplished in life, in spite of their trials, can be awe inspiring.  Choosing a role model is not about trying to be like someone else, but it more so serve as a means of achieving something in life that you desire to have or someone that you strive to become in life.

It’s nice when you can see what the outcome of what you want to achieve, might look like.  There are many people in this world that have gone through life trials, and found their way out of it. They made it out because they’ve made the choice not to stay stuck in their mess.  They decided to do something different.  I’d venture to say that not only did these people make it up on their mind that they want something better, but they were able to vision how their lives might play out through the life of someone else. 

So what is a role model?  A role model is a person whose actions, way of living, or success in life, is or can be modeled by others.  A role model is someone who other individuals aspire to be like, either in the present or in the future.  Having a role model is important as having a role model can help you become the person you want to be, and inspire you to make a difference in life.  So how do you choose a role model:

1. When choosing a role model, make sure it’s someone that you know. This person should be a voice of reason for you. This person should be someone that could help guide you into becoming the best you that you can be.
2. When choosing a role model, think about those aspects about yourself that you are not please with and want to make better.Take a personal inventory of yourself, and think about those qualities that you have that may be impeding your growth. Your role model should be someone that can hold you accountable with making those changes in life.
3. Being assertive and confident in your self is important as well.You have to know that you are more than capable of achieving your goals and making those changes in life.The person you chose as your role model is there to motivate you to become a better person.
4. Your role model should possess qualities that you desire to have. These are people that inspire you and that you admire.It’s something about them and what they do that encourages you and makes you want to do more with your life.
5. Your role model should have goals and direction in life.Your role model should not exist just to exist, but they’re living to make a difference in lives of others and to leave a lasting impact for someone else, in this world.
6. Your role model should not be negative, thinking negative, and give off negative energy. Your role model should be someone that encourages you, build you up, can hold you accountable for your actions, and overall can make you feel good about yourself.
7. Your role model is not perfect.He or she has flaws and short comings, but in spite of that, they work well with others, they acknowledge their weaknesses, and they are able to acknowledge that it was hard work, dedication and commitment that got them to where they are now in life.
8. Never tried to be a direct replica of your role model.Be your own person and create your own unique style

Regardless of where you are in life, having a role model as a part of your life could be essential in helping you achieve your goals and to take that next step in life.   Your goal is not to become them or live their lives, but to use them as a means of support to help you get to where you want to be in life, and believe you should be.