When Fear Gets in the Way

What is it that got you feeling stuck? Are you trying to get ahead, but it feels like you’re not moving?  What’s stopping you from buying that new car, or that brand new house? Why haven’t you stopped into your boss office to request that pay increase that you deserve? There are some many reasons why we fail to take the next step and grab a hold of what is intrinsically ours?  What happens when you think about reaching further?  Do you feel anxious or overwhelmed?  How about when you think about confronting that issue that got you feeling bound, do you experience similar emotions?  Many of us will remain in unhealthy relationships and stay on a job where we are not growing, because of this internal emotion called, Fear.  

Fear can be a very debilitating emotion.  It is one of the feelings that can immobilize you if you allow it to.  What produces fear, is when you don’t know what to expect, or when you don’t have a clear understanding how your life might change as a result of stepping over, onto the other side of your situation.  Fear is one of those emotions we often feel, but never discuss.  Stressful situations tend to generate fear within us.  It is the stressful event, which is also known as the “triggering event” that causes the brain to respond, sometimes, in negative manner.  The stressful event sends a signal to your brain, telling you, that what’s happening outside of you is not good.  That stress then, translates into something you’ll feel or experience.

When stress comes upon you, you may feel it throughout your body.  You might experience physiological responses such as the releasing of chemicals that can cause your heart to start racing, palms grow sweaty, Knees get jittery, head starts throbbing, the rate of your breathing increases, or your muscles are energized, just to name a few.  These physiological changes can be extremely un-easy for some, because it may take you into a very unfamiliar place, emotionally speaking.  Whatever you do, don’t avoid what you are feeling, or experiencing by shutting, instead learn effective ways to manage the stressors that are a part of your life.

So how do you deal with the negative side of this emotion, called fear? You live!  Fear happens when you refuse to live your life as it happens.  Fear lives in the very thoughts that you tell yourself.  So stop telling yourself negative things and spending all your time worrying about what’s going to happen next.  When you do this, it suggests that you are planning to living for what hasn’t even occurred yet.  As you know, with everything, there are good and bad, healthy and unhealthy ways to deal with situations that occurs in your life. Knowing what you can control vs. what you can’t control is one way to manage your fears.  You will come upon things in life that you have no control over, and there’s not much you can do about it.  But, when it’s a situation that you can control, set your mind to make a change, do something different; reach for what you ordinarily wouldn’t reach for.   If you do nothing, you will feel defeated.  That defeat will then be replaced by fear which will paralyze you and keep you achieving your goals in life.  So, why stress over the thought of, “What hasn’t happened yet?”

As I bring this to a close, I want you to ask yourself this question, “Do you want to experience living life, or avoid living life?  If you answer experience living life, then you must extinguish fear.  Don’t let the thought of what could happen, paralyzing you from the experiences of what is happening, right in the “here and now.” You’re experiences whether good or bad, are meant to develop you and build character in you. You will  experience the beauty of life, when you allow yourself to live the life you have been destined to live.  Your experiences will only be negative, if you accept it as such.  Even when things don’t turn out the way you hoped they would, you can always walk away from that experience with new information and a different understanding on life.

So, I leave you with this, you can plan for tomorrow, but you can’t live tomorrow, today. So, stop planning to prevent what might happen, and start preparing to live what is happening “Here and Now.” There is no real security with living life. So instead of living to prevent, prepare to live.  Leave Fear behind.