Why People Avoid Therapy

If you were sick, would you see a doctor? How about, if you had a tooth ache, would you go see a dentist? What if your hair was a wreck and you needed to have a conditioning treatment, would you see a cosmetologist or barber? Here’s another one for you, what if there was a dinner party you’ve been invited to and you wanted to look and feel your best, would you seek an opinion from someone you love concerning how you look? I’m assuming that most of us would answer yes to these questions. Almost everyone want to feel good and look their best. Most people will try anything possible to beautify their outward appearance, but won’t take time out to make sure our their insides are feeling good as well. 

People don’t like to talk about how they are feeling. Most of this is because they struggle with being able to express how they feel, and find it easier to express what they thinking instead of what they’re feeling. Take for example: If you ask your friend how does he feel about going to the dinner party, he’s more than likely to respond by giving you his thought, as opposed to his feeling. He might respond by saying, “I think it will be fun, so I am going to attend.” Well, thinking and feeling are two different things. Because I’m interested in knowing how he feels, a more appropriate response might be something like this, “I’m excited about going to the party. I can’t wait to attend.” Notice the word, “excited” which expresses a feeling. When we can’t find the right word to express how we feel, we tend to explain it away with our thoughts. We do this often because we’ve been socialised to believe that talking about how we feel is a sign of weakness. Showing weakness is one of the many reason why people avoid seeking therapy. There is an irrational belief that if you seek out therapy then that means, that you’re not strong enough to handle your problems on you own. This type of thinking keep people from getting proper help when they may need it most. 

I wish I could say that there are no stigma's associated with therapy, but the truth is, there are. People avoid getting help simply because they don’t understand what therapy entails. They believe the stigma's. I'm not trying to convince you that therapy can be useful in various ways, such as assisting you with making decisions, raising your children, bettering your marriage, choosing careers, and overall emotional health just to name a few, but I want you to understand that therapy is so much more than the negative connotations attached to it. As a therapist and a consumer of therapy services in my past, I encourage you  to give it a try.  You just may be surprise by the results that you'll get.   What do you have to lose besides becoming a happier version of you.